before i am here, i was on my bed day dreaming. before i day dreaming, i was playing with my new dog. before i was playing with my dog, i drank.. the reason why i drank, is all after the paper. a set of paper. just a set of paper that has changed my life. im really down, i have no idea what am i doing all the time when i'm still living in this world. what's my life for? im an annoying failure that totally a loser in studies, friendship, family and so relationship. my life, there's many years, months, weeks, days, hours, minutes, seconds for me. i never ever did a good thing in the every second of mine as im here blogging. blog is the only place that can let me throw a vent on it. i suppose to be in my dream now, when once i lie on my bed, i think.. i thought, no i am. i was. an annoying failure in the whole world. i got many $$ and so in addition to that, i have nothing else. :) i got nothing good. i asked myself, i questioned god about me, why? why is everyone being so happy and successful in life but not me? i think i shouldn't have questioned god. it's me. my heart felt very uncomfortable.. i shouldn't be at here during exam time, i shouldn't. i tried my hard, i faced infront of the 4cm thick book for like a few hours but i got nothing in. im really lifeless, i have 24hours a day, i did all the stupid idiot stuff instead of some meaningful things. for no reason why, a feeling of hurt that really hurt than how they hurt me even more hurt came to me suddenly. the one who hurting me to most and deeply isn't them but me? im hurting myself by doing some useless stuffs? connie lee siew liy, your family gave you so much, really much but what did you pay them back? a empty useless paper? i forced myself not to let my tears stream down, but it just dropped down when i was typing the sentences before this. i should go now.. blog you after exam.. im sorry. for everything. to my life. that i have made a really terrible mistake. in my life.